Mike asked me the other day what my highlight of 2018 was. I think he was expecting me to say something about the dogs or us living together for the first time. Instead, I told him that the highlight of my year was when my awful neighbor moved out.
Romantic and sentimental right?.....
But seriously, ever since I moved into my house six years ago, I’ve had one neighbor who drove my crazy. She would walk her dog as slowly as possible past my house, then stop and take pictures. I’m not joking. For a while I was incredibly creeped out because I would wake up and see a random middle aged women standing in my lawn taking pictures of my house. I finally opened the door one day and just stared at her without saying a word. Being passive aggressive is something I really excel at. She finally noticed me staring and told me she was taking pictures of my “beautiful” trees. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU, LADY.
Don’t worry… it gets better.
The neighbor decided one day that she wanted to be “green” and start composting. Composting is great! I have nothing against composting. But you see...when most people compost, they buy a bin or container to put the compost in.
My neighbor literally just started a “compost” aka, TRASH pile next to the fence separating our lawns. She would dump coffee grounds, banana peels, eggs and TRASH on the pile. Since you know...it was a PILE...it slowly started to migrate from her side of the fence over to my yard. Unsurprisingly, as trash fell into my yard, my dogs started eating it. So I did what any sane person would do, I angrily confronted her about the “compost” pile. She basically said she wasn't going to do anything about it. So I bought a sheet of plastic to block the fence so trash would stop falling into my yard.
But I had fire burning in my heart. I wanted that compost pile GONE.
In the spring of 2018, I got a faint glimmer of hope. One Saturday, a U-Haul truck pulled up to her house and people began loading boxes into the truck. I quickly ran and found Mike to show him all the excitement.! He was less than enthused about my obsession with the awful neighbor. I forced him into the car, with the dogs, under the pretense that we were going for a hike...okay we did go for a hike, but FIRST we slowly drove by the neighbor's house.
I stopped. Rolled down my window and said, “Oh no! Are you moving?!
Being fake nice is a talent I got from teaching. Because….guess what...teaching is 99% being fake nice to the kids and parents.
To my shock and horror the neighbor waved, and said “Nope! We’re just cleaning out all the the basement and taking it to storage.”
I think my face visibly fell when she said that.
Fast forward a few months and it’s now summer. One day I notice that I haven’t seen her car around for quite a while. I continue to watch and quickly notice a new women sitting on the back porch a week later.
So I put together a plan.
At the crack of dawn the next morning, I sneaked over and got rid of the compost pile. I grab my shovel and proceed to frantically shovel load after load of the compost pile into the dumpster.
I’m dripping sweat, in the dark, as I rush to shovel as quickly as possible because I don’t want to get caught!
I still don’t have confirmation that the neighbor actually moved, so the threat of detection is lurking with every scoop of trash.There were mice living in the pile- but even this didn't detery me. I was determined to get rid of every last piece of trash that had been piling up for six years. As the sun started to peek over the horizon, I set my shovel down and look at my hard work.
Where there once was a GIANT mound of trash, is now a fresh clean square of dirt.
And I know without a doubt I won the battle.
So if your biggest accomplishment of 2018 was a baby or marriage or promotion. GOOD FOR YOU, because I’m pretty sure I’m still the real winner in all of this. I GOT RID OF THE DAMN TRASH PILE.